A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office.

The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

The husband turns to his wife and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

“Open wider.” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.

“Good God !” he said startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.”

“OK Doc !” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.” “I didn’t !” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”

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Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry it will take just five minutes.

Patient: And how much will it cost?

Dentist: It’s Rs 500

Patient: Rs 500 !!!!! for just a few minutes work???

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

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Boss Asks Miss Smith – “I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist ? “

Miss Smith Says – That’s right, Sir.

Boss – So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theater with a friend?

That was my dentist.

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A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn’t nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone’s mouth.

The dentist answered

“I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”

image sources : Giphy & Imgur

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See Next Slide for Next Sets of Amazing Dentist Jokes

… See Next Slide … 

Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.

Patient: Okay doc, but don’t forget to send your bill to the other man.

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Santa: “Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?”

Banta: “Yes, the dentist.”

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Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction.

Young dentist: Don’t worry, it’s my first extraction too.

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Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth?

Dentist: Don’t smile in a bad neighborhood.

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Patient:Do you extract teeth painlessly ?

Dentist: “Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist :O

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Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn’t the one I wanted pulled.

Dentist: Relax, I’m coming to it.

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Anyone know the six most frightening words in the world ???

“The Dentist will see you now.”

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Who has the most dangerous job in the world ?

Dracula’s dentist.

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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.

“I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novacaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.”

The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.”

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… See Next Slide …

Amazing Dentist Jokes Set 3 

A man walks into the dentist’s office and after the dentist examines him, he says, “that tooth has to come out. I’m going to give you a shot of Novocain and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

The man grabs the dentist’s arm, “no way. I hate needles I’m not having any shot!”

So the dentist says, “okay, we’ll have to go with the gas.”

The man replies, “absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I’m not having gas.”

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, “here,” he says. “Take this pill.”

The man asks “What is it?”

The doc replies, “Viagra.”

The man looks surprised, “will that kill the pain?” he asks.

“No,” replies the dentist, “but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!”

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While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling.

Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.” When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor.

He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my Mother.

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A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth.

After discussing how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, ” Before we begin, Doc, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the trumpet when you are finished? “

The dentist replies ” Sure you will! “

The patient replies ” Great, I couldn’t play a note before! “

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Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.

Patient: Okay doc, but don’t forget to send your bill to the other man.

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A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to the girl’s place for a drink.

A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.

He then took off his socks and washed his hands.

The girl looked at him and said, “You must be a dentist!”

Surprised and happy , the guy responded, “Why yes. That’s amazing. How did you determine that?”

The woman replied, “Easy… you keep washing your hands.”

Well, one thing led to another, and they migrated to the bed.

Things became more and more passionate and … 😉 … Censored … : )

After their passionate love making was done the woman remarked, “You must be a GREAT dentist!”

The guy was very surprised, and said ‘Yes! Yes! I sure am a great dentist… You amaze me! And how did you know THAT, my dear?

His lover said, “That’s easy. I didn’t feel a thing.”

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… See Next Slide …

For the Final Set of Dentist Jokes 

Patient to Dentist: “How much to get my teeth straightened?”

“Twenty thousand bucks” Patient heads for the door.

Dentist to patient: “Where are you going?”

“To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.”

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A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s.

He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup.

As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.

The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.

” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and

she replied… “Not yet…It’s his turn with the teeth!”

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A particularly voluptuous lady entered the dentists surgery in an obvious state of agitation. The dentist tried to calm her down assuring her that he would do nothing to hurt her. She sat down in the chair and started fidgeting nervously as the dentist began sterilizing all the required equipment. When he asked her to open her mouth, she screamed.

So he tried to calm her down again even though he was losing patience.

Almost immediately the lady threw a hysterical fit, then realizing that the dentist had begun glaring at her, she said, “Oh doctor, I’m so nervous. I hate dentists. Why, I think I’d rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled.”

Replied the dentist ” Well Miss, better make up your mind fast so that I can accordingly adjust the chair.”

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A rather forgetful dentist was invited to speak at a hotel banquet about, of all things, dental hygiene. 

When he arrived at the banquet, he seated himself at the head table only to suddenly realize that he had forgotten to put on his false teeth.

He was in a state of panic as it just won’t do to have a speaker with no teeth talk about dental hygiene. And besides, most people don’t understand him too well without his teeth.

He managed to explain the situation to the man seated next to him, and was about to leave for home to get his teeth, when the man smiled and said, “No problem, I just happen to have a spare. Try these on,” and the man passed the speaker a pair of dentures.

The speaker couldn’t believe his luck. He tried on the dentures but they didn’t fit well. “They’re too loose,” he said.

“No worries,” the man said. He reached into another pocket and produced another pair of dentures. “Try these.”

The speaker had no idea why the man would be carrying 2 sets of dentures with him but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He tried on the second pair but they were too tight.

“Okay, I have got one last pair,” the man said. And he produced a third set of dentures from his briefcase.

And they were a perfect fit. The rest of the evening went without a hitch, with the speaker giving a flawless speech and rounding it off with a great dinner.

At the end of the evening, the speaker thanked the man and since they were in the same profession, asked for his name card.

“Oh, you’re mistaken,” said the man. “I’m not a dentist. I’m the local undertaker.”

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A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him. While he’s talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.

As they’re leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, “Thanks for the peanuts.” She says, “Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off ’em.”

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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist : With pain Rs 500 and without pain Rs 100.

Patient : Well, without pain it’s cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth,

when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!

Hey, Don’t forget WITH pain it costs Rs 500 !!!, replies the dentist.

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… See Next Slide …

The Final Set of Amazing Dentist Jokes

A dentist is working on a female patient’s teeth when he asks her if she’d mind screaming loudly.

She does so then asks why. ‘I’ve got to catch a train in thirty minutes,’ he replies.

‘And my waiting room is packed.’

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Dentist says to the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Doc, it isn’t all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the 7 o’clock tennis game.

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Some Questions on Dentists 😀

What does the dentist of the year get?…A little plaque

Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned.

 What game did the dentist play when she was a child?…Caps and robbers

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?…He braces himself

What did the dentist see at the North Pole?…A molar bear

What was the dentist doing in Panama?…Looking for the Root Canal

Where does the dentist get his gas?…At the filling station

Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out?…He was already taking out a tooth

What did the dentist say to the computer?…This won’t hurt a byte

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?…Fill me in when you get back !

Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet ?… Son: I don’t know. The dentist kept it.

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IN MY BUSY DENTAL OFFICE, I see several patients at the same time. As soon as I finish with one, I run to the next room to resume treatment on another. 

One day, I returned to a second patient without saying good-by to the first. As my first patient was leaving, she gave a friendly wave.

Acknowledging her, I said loudly, “By.” My other patient obediently chomped down and bit my fingers. – Contributed to “All In a Day’s Work” by Stiew Tan

The night before their big exam, four students from the Dental College decided that they had it with studying and went drinking till the wee hours of the morning. When they woke up the next morning, they realized that it was one hour to their exam and they were totally unprepared.

So, after showering and shaving, they came up with a plan. They put some grease and mud on their clothes, messed up their hair, and made sure they got some grease on their faces as well.

And then they approached the professor, “Professor, I don’t think we are able to take the exam today. We went to a friend’s wedding last night. But on the way back, the car slipped into a muddy ditch. We spent an hour getting it out. And then the tyre blew. We tried changing the tyre but couldn’t quite figure it out so we pushed the car all the way back and arrived just minutes ago.”

The professor could smell a scam a mile away, having been the perpetrator of quite a few in his younger days. But he decided not to call their bluff and told them that they could take their exam in the next few days.

They studied really hard this time, and when the day of their exam came, they were fully prepared. They arrived half an hour early and were seated at their usual spots when the professor came in and told them that they were going to take a special exam.

The questions in this special exam were tailored just for the 4 of them. There are just 2 questions in the exam, they will have only 5 minutes to complete both questions and they have to take the exam in separate classrooms.

Rather intrigued, each of them sat down in their separate classrooms and read the 2 questions in their special exam: Question 1: (50 marks)
What is the name of the friend whose wedding you attended?

Question 2: (50 marks)
Which tire blew?

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I was waiting nervously to see the dentist when a woman breezed into the room from the dentist’s inner office. She looked like she had just emerged from the most luxurious spa in the world and not from a room in which they put tubes and metal instruments in your mouth. She greeted everybody in the room, and sat down next to me as I think she sensed that I was nervous.

“You look nervous,” she said. “I know for a fact that he is the best dentist in the world. He will take care of your every need and he’s so gentle and understanding too. I can guarantee you that you will not feel even a twinge of pain.”

And with that, she breezed out of the room just as she’d breezed in, leaving everyone feeling refreshed and actually looking forward to meeting the dentist.

When it was my turn to go in, I went in with a smile on my face. And when I met the dentist, I complimented him on the great job he did of putting his patients at ease. I told him about the woman who acted like she just came out from a spa when she walked out of his office.

He paused for a moment, and then his eyes lit up, “I know who you are talking about. You met my mother.”

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Disclaimer : This collection of jokes is taken from various sources like internet, social media and forums. The copyrights belong to the respective owners and some jokes are free to use license basis.